100% Resolution Conflict Manager!

Con­flict is com­mon in our every­day life.  Not even men­tion that con­flict can hap­pen at work.  With dif­fer­ent agen­das and inter­est going on in the organ­i­sa­tion, it seemed an up hill task to resolve con­flicts here.  How­ever, for all con­flicts (the purest ones that has no polit­i­cal agenda which are eas­i­est to solve), there lies the same com­mon prin­ci­ple that is used to resolve them.  In our post today, we will present tech­niques for you to resolve con­flict in the office and life.

• Be calm – The first thing that you should do is to be calm.  Emo­tions will run high but you have to remind your­self not to blast what­ever you’ve got in your head.  IN your mind, tell your­self that you got choices in your respond.
• Do not shout – Sec­ond thing, do not shout.  Even if your part­ner is shout­ing at you, do not shout back.  Shout­ing back will only make mat­ters worst.
• Talk calmly if your part­ner shouts - If your part­ner con­tin­ues to shout at you, do not shout back.  Ask him to calm down.  Your tone should be assur­ing that you are not out to pick a fight.  Let him know that you want to resolve this thing through a proper dis­cus­sion with him.
• Under­stand that your part­ner has some­thing on his mind which is mis­aligned with yours – In your mind when you are debat­ing your rights, do one thing; acknowl­edge that both of you are hav­ing dif­fer­ent opin­ion to the sub­ject of the con­flict.  Rec­og­niz­ing this is a great step for­ward that you will attempt to find out what is mis­aligned between you and him.
• Acknowl­edge their view points ver­bally – Once you have found out the dif­fer­ent opin­ion that his is hold­ing.  Acknowl­edge ver­bally.  Let him know you truly under­stand what him meant and you want to address that with what you can.
• Seek com­pro­mise – Both of you may have some­thing you want to achieve out of the con­flict.  Some­times things can­not be per­fect.  Look for com­pro­mise between both sides.  The best sce­nario is that you influ­ence his deci­sion to side to you (after you under­stand his dif­fer­ent view point).  On a not so opti­mal sce­nario, you com­pro­mise by giv­ing up every­thing of your opin­ion.  It’s ok not to gain some­thing out of the con­flict.  It may be bet­ter this way in the long run.
• Break off first if no com­pro­mise can be made – If at the end of day, both sides are unable to reach a con­clu­sion.  Or both sides are run­ning high on emo­tions that can­not be pulled down (espe­cially when the other side is not will­ing to cool down even after you have), its time to break off for the moment.  Take maybe an hour or two to cool down.  Let your part­ner know that you would like to set­tle this con­flict at a later time as both sides are not at the right state of mind for it.  With that, find the appro­pri­ate time for dis­cus­sion again.
• Be pos­i­tive about the con­flict – You may feel mis­er­able walk­ing out of the con­flict with no solu­tion to it.  It’s ok.  You may not reach con­clu­sion on the first attempt and your part­ner may not be ready to talk too.  The worst part, the dura­tion between the next meet up can be daunt­ing even it is only a few min­utes.  Do not brood over it.  Think pos­i­tive that both of you will reach a con­clu­sion eventually!

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