Activate Anti-Conflict Awareness!

Being actively con­scious of what your mind is think­ing is a key part of resolv­ing con­flicts.  It is essen­tial to be aware of your emo­tional state (most likely not), your log­i­cally rea­son­ing and able to derive out­come of what­ever respond you are giv­ing.  Such as bring­ing up about past mis­takes will only make the sit­u­a­tion worst.  Fol­low­ing our post of being a 100% con­flict resolv­ing man­ager, we have tips on how to con­trol and increase the aware­ness of your mind that will greatly assist you in resolv­ing conflicts!

• Acti­vate the anti-conflict brain – First thing you should do is acti­vate the anti-conflict brain.   When we are heated up, what­ever that comes out from out mouth that is often offend­ing and unpleas­ant to the other party.  Stud­ies have also shown that you almost insane (not think­ing log­i­cally) when your emo­tions are over­drive!  There­fore, it is essen­tial to always know that you have a choice.  You have a choice of respond.  Your respond will cre­ate another out­come of the argument.
• Think of reach­ing a con­clu­sion (or agree­ment) on the con­flict – Think that you want to end the con­flict either in a win-win, win-lose or lose-lose out­come.  What­ever that will be com­ing out from you may make mat­ter bet­ter, neu­tral or worse.  There­fore, before you respond to your other party’s remark, think first.  Think of the con­se­quences of what you will say.  If it’s going to make mat­ter worse, think of another way of phras­ing your state­ment or else, just don’t even men­tion it. J
• Avoid men­tion­ing the past mis­takes – Men­tion­ing the past events will only make mat­ters worst.  It sug­gests that you are list­ing more evi­dences to make your part­ner feel bad.  It also sug­gests that what­ever agree­ment made pre­vi­ously were just being patron­ized.  In any case, what is done before should be closed.  Move for­ward and not men­tion the past.
• Avoid using You too much – You sug­gests a line drawn between you and your part­ner.  You also sug­gests blame.  Avoid You as much as you can.  The con­flict is a mat­ter of both sides and should be addressed as We.  Both of you want to resolve this con­flict con­struc­tively as the con­flict belongs to both of you.  For a start, be con­stantly aware if you have the ten­dency to say You most of the time.  Being con­stantly aware will put you on the toe in refrain­ing your­self from say­ing it.
• Avoid say­ing who started it first – Never ever say that the other party started the argu­ment first!  Unless it is some bio­log­i­cal rea­sons (such as PMS or men­stru­a­tion) which as a guy (if you are one) should give lee­way on it.  If not, do not men­tion about it.  This will also only make mat­ters worst.  Remem­ber, you want to resolve it, not to fur­ther sore the situation.

Avoid­ing is quite hard when your blood is boil­ing.  Keep cool, breath in deeply.  Remem­ber, it goes down to your self-control and aware­ness.  Be aware of what you are think­ing and this will put you at a good posi­tion to be cau­tious about what you will say.  When you are cau­tious, you will think of the con­se­quences of your respond, and you will also alert your­self when you are going to say things that can make mat­ters worst such as You, past events or who started it first.  Remem­ber, self-control and aware­ness is the first step to resolv­ing con­flicts and it begins with you!  Make an effort to have self-control and aware­ness, and your anti-conflict brain will be activated!

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