1. Immediate Relatives and Friends – A young sales person will usually get the immediate family members to be his first customer.  This will follow by his relatives then friends, and then uh-oh… he is out of networks… Personally, I wouldn’t recommend selling to your relatives unless it is a really fantastic product that really benefits your relatives.  Picture this; if the product (1) wasn’t what your relative wanted in the first place or (2) does not prove it is beneficial or worth to your relative, you will be labelled for life for selling crappy products to them.  That will leave you with two choice, either stand up to the possible mockery in future or be absent from family gatherings.  But of course, not all failure stories end up that way.  However, if what you sold was genuinely good for them, then that is a plus point and they will propagate the benefits to their friends becoming your strong first line network!
2. Reconnect with long lost friends – Take time to look through the list of old friends.  Those during your college days, your previous company or friends from the old neighbourhood.  Browse through social network sites that you have accounts in and see if your friends are there.  You will be surprise at how your friends have grown and changed over time.  That point aside, do some catching up through online chats or an email.  Be genuinely interested in the events of life that they have gone through and not blast your latest offers immediately.  It is easier to link up with old friends as there are common topics to talk about.  This reconnection can reveal a network of different expertise or help that you need (but do not know where to find).
3. Get to know more friends at work – Have conversation with colleagues of a different team.  Arrange lunches with colleagues from those teams.  Not only you break the boring routine of having lunch with the same group of colleagues, you get to know what you do not (or may not know) that is happening (rumours) in the company, open new problem solving ideas and build links (and trust) to with another department!  Birds of the same feather fly in a flock.  It holds certain truth in this phrase.  You will have the same mentality (group culture) if you persist to stick with the same group of friends.  By interacting more with peers of different teams, you build a supportive network and trust and will be useful when an inter-team effort is required!
4. Build relationship by extending your current ones – Lastly, from your existing relatives, friends and colleagues, always take the opportunity to find out more about friends of friends, friends of relatives, friends of colleagues, etc… you know what I mean.  Get to know your friends and his friends.  Take the opportunity to build a relationship with this possible new friend.  Ask to be included in their next friends meet up sessions or even propose to link up with this new friend yourself!  This will help you expand your existing network to a bigger one!

These are just ways to build a strong network to support your goals.  Remember, network is your net worth!  So how do you build your strong network?

1. Be open about yourself – The first thing that you should ever do when you want people to talk is to be open about yourself.  Being open about yourself allows people to be comfortable with you.  How?  You give them trust by sharing information about yourself first.  In this way, people respond with theirs.  If you do not start somewhere, then it will be difficult to maintain the conversation for long.
2. Avoid talking too much of yourself – Being open is the first step that you should take too build trust in a conversation.  However, avoid the loophole of talking too much of yourself.  This becomes self-centeredness and attempting to put the focal point of discussion around you.  A right touch (amount) of self information that portrait openness is good.  Too much of it will irritate and bored your partner.  They will only view you as being self-indulging and living in your own world.
3. Be genuine curious and interested about your other partner but – Be genuine interested in finding out more about your partner.  By being curious about your partner, you tend to come out with questions that can relate to your partner.  When your partner finds that you are really interested in them (and after building trust between you and him), he will more likely share more information with you.
4. Give the right balance amount of attention to everyone in a conversation –In a group conversation, usually, there will be one or two “alphas” that lead the conversation.  And usually you are one of them as you are taking the lead to get people talking.  Be it any conversation; give rights to everybody for them to voice their opinion.  If they lack the initiative to speak, ask for their opinion or consensus instead.  Example, “Mary, do you agree with the Joe’s comment about banker’s salary?”  In this way, the introvert Mary will not feel left out in the conversation and you assisted to be brought into the conversation.
5. Bring similarities of topic in a conversation – Another tip in group conversation where there are individuals that lack initiative in voicing their opinion; Assist to bridge similar experiences of different individuals together.  Example, “Joe loves rock climbing.  He does that every weekend!  Hey, Mary, you are a rock climber too right?”  In this way, you bring two experiences (topic) together and a common topic both Joe and Mary can follow through.

Use these conversational tips to get people talking!  Are there other tips that you used to get people talking in a conversation or to break the silence?

1. Do not write about your employer’s trade secret – The number one taboo of any organisation.  Never reveal your employer’s trade secret online.  That includes offline as well.  This is unethical and you can be brought to court for unethical malpractices of the employee.
2. Do not reveal your employer’s name when you are blogging any topic about the employer – As much as you can, do not include the names of your employer (the company name).  First, you will not be in the radar of the employer’s human-resource department online searches.  That will keep them off site.  Second, you will not end up in any defamation suit by writing negative posts about your employer.
3. Do not bitch about your colleagues online – Bitch about your colleagues and the pub or water dispenser.  Leave it there and then.  Do not bring it online.  By writing about negative comments of another individual in the organisation, you are leaving a negative impression of you online.  This to the eyes of the readers will illustrate your true character (that is to bitch about others).
4. Do not write about all the crazy parties you have – Most of us like to share about our fun part online.  That is why blogging is fun to us.  But be careful about what you post online even thought it is those partying pictures and videos.  You do not want to be seen by your employer cursing and swearing while you look totally wasted.  You do not want to be seen jumping into the river naked after you finished ten bottles of beer.
5. Think twice.  Be selective in what you write online – Remember, whatever you post online will be replicated and stored in different servers across the world.  It will be difficult to remove all the things that you posted online.  If privacy is an issue to you, it is best to stay away from social networks and blogs.  If privacy is not an issue to you, our advice is still keep minimal and be selective in the things you post.

To sum up, your information in social networks and blogs is public and can be viewed by the whole wide world (WWW).  That means, your current employer, and future employer.  You will also have problem removing all these information in future.  So before you write anything funny, make a dumb comment or post a not-so-intelligent partying video, do think twice.  You do not want those things you wrote in becoming something that hurt your career progression in future!

Sure, you can share the fun and stupidity that you have committed at last Saturday night’s party.  Sure you can talk about how insensitive the human-resource department and your employer when it comes to employee welfare.  However, all these can be read by someone on the internet.  This someone can be your employer or your human resource department.  All these information is published online (unless you make them personal).  You never now who is going to read these profiles you have online.  You do not want your boss to find out that you are bitching behind him, right?

That is for your current employer.  Your prospective employers and the recruitment agencies will also check on you with these profiles.  They will make assessment of who you are based on your profile.  They want to find out the “other side” of you.  They want to know, are you what you say you are in your resume and interview.

These profiles with the social network sites and blogs can be used as a double-edged sword.  On one hand, if you put great credentials about yourself such as your professional certifications, work experiences and achievements, your prospective employer will be more confident of you.  All these give the employer a positive impression of you.  On the other hand, if you focus on the negative aspects of work (talking about dumb bosses, boredom, bitching about colleagues, etc.), you likely risk getting a negative impression of you.  This goes for profiles that emphasizes on too much partying too!

Furthermore, these profiles are stored on the social network sites and blogs, which mean they may not belong to you even though they say your information belongs to you.  They can “delete” your record by marking it unreadable by the public.  They can make copies of record in some other data storage.  What does it all means?  Your information is still available online somewhere and it is difficult to remove them totally from the internet.

To sum up, your information in social networks and blogs is public and can be viewed by the whole wide world (WWW).  That means, your current employer, and future employer.  You will also have problem removing all these information in future.  So before you write anything funny, make a dumb comment or post a not-so-intelligent partying video, do think twice.  You do not want those things you wrote in becoming something that is used against your career progression!

1. The person maybe more capable then what you think – There are times when you take a glance of a person and he will give you that no-confidence look.  The assurance that he is able to give is almost zero.  But amazingly, at times of crisis, or critical situation, he is able to deliver as what you want.  He may not be able to shine in his normal self, but at extreme situations, he outshone everyone in his capabilities.  Now looking back, if you did feel he is incapable, you may feel that you’ve already made a wrong judgement from the start!
2. The person maybe less capable then what you believe he to be – Usually such people are good in delivering quality lip services.  They promise the whole universe for you.  But when it comes down to the crunch, they are unable to deliver what they promised to you.  They dodge questions.  The shift responsibilities.  However, the problem is, you never know if they are capable in the first place.  Unless you are really really good in determining a person’s true character.  What you should do is to give yourself time to observe this person.  Make him win your trust in his capabilities.  Take his words at face value till he can uphold what he is capable of.
3. You never know who you will end up with – By having the wrong impression of a person that he is not capable enough, you are likely going to look down on him or his achievements.  Now, with the world so small and the industry that you are working in small as well, there will be a likely chance that you will meet the same person again (especially in a small country).  Don’t offend the person as his achievements one day may be greater than you.  You might need his help in future too!  Do not be a snob now!  You will regret for doing that in future.  Learn to be modest when you are meeting people.

Our immediate advice to you on judging people is, do not judge people in the first place.  We are no good judge ourselves and it’s best to keep our modest opinion on others to ourselves.  Give some room for doubts.   Learn to observe the person more, find out if he honours what he committed to do.  If a person is always underperforming in your eyes, give some room for doubts.  He may not be what you believe he is to be.  Learn not to jump into conclusion after meeting the person.  Time will truly tell if the person is worth what type of person he is.  Again, the saying goes, “Don’t Judge the Book by its Look!”

Today, we are presenting an individualistic idea that will suit you when it comes down to the decision making.  Which means some might feel it is selfish idea or against their principles.  Whatever the case it’s fine with us.  Take it at face value and have a thought about it.  We must recognize one thing that is the pension days are gone.  Loyalty is not a selling point in keeping talents to stay.  It is the cash power that the organisation is willing to give to those that perform.  Therefore, think for yourself when you need to make a decision or take on tasks.

When you are assigned a new task, will it benefit you in anyway?  Example, the task is to track all employees’ daily activities.  Is this a task that is beneficial to you?  Does it help in your career progression?  When the time comes that you need to leave the organisation, can you put in the resume stating that you “track all employees’ daily activities” and have accomplishments such as, “I’ve caught 2 employees surfing Facebook daily”?  Of course, there are ways to package your job responsibilities in your resume in future.  But at the baseline, does such task bring any value to you?

Think if your organisation or your business function was to be disperse (be it for whatever reasons, such as sales is bad, merger and acquisition, or no longer find it strategic to continue the business function) and you need to leave (made to leave) the organisation, can you list down your selling points as a prospective employee with full of skill set?  What will they think if of you with your current job responsibilities?  Will your work experience (and the decisions make to contribute to the work experience) be useful to your prospective employer?  Think about what the market out there is wanting!

And remember, your decision is accountable to your family.  Of course, your decision may be accountable to your organisation.  But when you are being removed from the organisation, you no longer need to be accountable to them (you might even curse and swear at them!).  Instead, you are now accountable to your family in bringing the cash to feed them!  Do you have the right skill set to secure a new job and feed them?

The principles here are individualistic.  You work for yourself and your family.  Some may argue that this is a selfish mindset and hinders organisation progression or do not consider the emotions of other colleagues.  Agreed and disagreed.  Take this advice at face value and do things that you deem fit.  It’s not a 100% perfect solution and you might want to tune it here and there to make it perfect for you (and your character).  At the baseline, we are advising you that whatever you do, think for your career goals.   Do not blindly follow instructions from your bosses.  You may end up getting no where eventually!

1. Be prepared for any conversation from the employer – The first and foremost thing that you should do is have a clear picture and overview of what you are doing and what you have done so far in your past employment.  They called in to get a clearer picture of your employment and in this phone conversation; you are suppose to give this piece of information to them.  To do that, make a short or compress list of things that you’ve done out of the resume.  Categorized into logical sections which they can absorb easily.  In this way, you demonstrated that you are sure of what you are doing, giving them the confidence in employing you (or recommending you).
2. Ask for the real employer details and job description – If you are going through a recruitment agency, do feel free to ask for the real employer details.  Likelihood is that they will not reveal to you as they may be afraid that a direct contact be made by you.  However, sometimes, you may be surprised that they do tell you the actual employer details.  Also, what most of us forget is the job description.  Do remember to ask for the job description in the form of email so that you can refer to when you are free.   Why?  Most recruitment agencies will call at office hours and you may feel uneasy to discuss openly and therefore it’s best for them to send you the job description.
3. Can you take blunt comments? – This may be difficult for mid-career changes.   Especially if you are not holding a junior position anymore.  Ego is high and you expect employers to look up on you.  Take note, unless you are those high-paying-everybody-wants-CEO, you can forget about your ego!  Your work experience may not be fully applicable in the employer’s environment and they may make comments (mock) at your experience.  Example, “Are these what you do for the past two years?”, “Is that all?”  Take these comments positively.  The good thing is at least you know what is lacking for you to hold the prospective position.
4. Give the recruitment agencies time – Lastly, this is the final advice that we have.  The recruitment agencies may eagerly want to fill the position.  Why?  Because filling the position means cashing the profit for their company.  However, they still need time to communicate back and forth with the employer and negotiate your baseline package with them.  Therefore, don’t get worked out or disheartened that they never get back to you.  Give them some time and they will get back to you. Because once you passed their first screening, they already have interest in getting you into the employer and want to have a proper closure with you.  Also, if you fail to secure the position, you will still be in their prospective list for other employers too!

1. Too little – Whatever you are proposing is too little or insignificant.  It doesn’t capture your boss’s attention.  Try providing more information or letting him see the overall benefits.
2. Too much – Whatever you are proposing is too much.  That is demanding of what can be delivered.  He cannot handle the benefits (or work) that will be coming in.  Refine your benefits (and impact) to get him agreeable to your proposals.
3. Not now – It is not the right time to do whatever you are proposing.  It could be resource constraint, or organisation maturity or market maturity.   The idea may not be effective at the current moment therefore, try approaching him again next time
4. Not in this way – You are proposing something that is not in line with what he has in mind.  He may like your idea, but it is not what and how he wants to execute it.
5. Not for this – Your boss is not keen of what you are proposing. He is just not interested. Better luck and try next time. 
6. Not you – Your boss doesn’t like you.  Simple as that and won’t take in any of your proposals.  How to circumvent this?  Get someone he likes to propose the idea!
7. Not me – Your boss is thinking, why he should be doing it.  It is not his job scope and it will be better off to approach someone else who have the capability to do it.
8. Not unless – Your boss is keen with the idea however, he needs some topping up to whatever you are proposing.  Find out more with him on what needs to be included!
9. Go away – Yes, just go away.  Your boss is not in a good mood or emotional state and it’s not the best time to discuss about anything.  Hold your proposals and wait for another day!

Again, this is taken from the book, The Influential Fundraisers authored by Bernard Ross and Clare Segal.  This book has content targeted to fundraisers as the title describes.  However, the applicability of the techniques can be used on all aspects of influence and negotiation.  That is even to influence your boss to a decision or influence a customer’s sales decision.  Be sure to know why your boss rejects you.  Address his concern and we’re sure you will get your proposal received by him!

You’ve got a couple of options to start with in influencing your colleagues.  Apply them in a balancing manner.  Do not overuse any one of it as they may either take advantage or end up developing resentment in the office.

1. Influence them positively using tangible benefits – This directly targets the concerns of your colleagues.  They can be salary-related, off-day related or bonus-related benefit.  Of course, at times it is not possible as you may not be the approving authority for giving out cash or time offs.  (That is where your influencing skills on your boss come in!)
2. Influence them positively using implicit benefits – Buy your colleagues favours such as gifts or cakes.  Treat them a meal or buy them some cappuccino to boost them up. This shows you care for your staff and will motivate them to work for you.  Allow free play of work in the office.  Your colleagues appreciate the freedom.  Also, implicit benefits may be allowing your colleagues to go off early if there are nothing major going on for the day.
3. Influence them positively that they will benefit from your proposal – This will target the WIFM (What’s in for Me?).  Although it may you’re your colleague some time to work on your proposal, but he knows that he can reap the benefit from it and will put in effort to it as well.  With something he can benefit from, he will willingly put his share of effort into your proposal.
4. Influence them negatively using negative consequences – The other end of using positive influence is the use of negative factors to make your colleagues work.  You can consider this as using threats.  You deprive them from the basic needs.  Example, “if you do not complete this work by today, you will not be allowed to take leave for the subsequent months”.  You influence those using negative consequences of their actions.

We highly recommend positive influences as this will motivate them to work harder for you in the long run.  This encourages appreciation and trust between your colleagues.  We do not recommend using negative influences as this will degrade their motivation and trust in you.  A prolonged negative influenced work culture that the management is thriving on, the bigger the desire for the employee to tender his resignation.

You must have heard from motivation speakers about living your dreams.  Thinking is believing (following the doing).  But is that possible in the real world now?  We have tons of baggage to carry along with us in the journey of life.  We have to make money in order so survive.  How can we think ideally and achieve the ideal outcome?

It is possible in some sense if we believed and hold on to this belief!  It goes the same at work as well!  Ideal situation wants the best of both worlds.  NO! Ideal situation wants the BEST OF ALL WORLDS! That is what it means.  This will make us plan and execute to have the ideal outcome.  But what we are doing at work is compromise.  We adopt a give-and-take mentality with whatever situations that are given to us.  We work with our limited resources and optimize the maximum outcome.  We work with our colleagues to achieve results that are partially beneficial between both of us.  It’s not ideal at all!

Now, let’s compare between ideal situations and compromise.  Ideal situations plans for getting an ideal outcome while compromise plans and executes for a compromise outcome between both sides.  We should achieve more than what our normal (compromise) baseline!

From young we were taught to live our dreams.  But when we step into the real world, it is almost impossible to vision what we dreamt of in the young.  We were taught to compromise on resources.  What must go up somewhere will result in something going down somewhere.  When you want to earn more cash by meeting more clients after work, you get less time to spend with your family for dinner.  It is a zero-sum equation. But now, think Ideal situation!  You want to meet more clients after work yet you want to have time to spend with your family for dinner every night!  You work towards that by planning effective schedule, by meeting targeted high ROI clients!  You get your sales and you get more time with your family!

That’s why; thinking (and planning and executing) of achieving ideal situation is such a powerful concept in personal productivity and success!  Now do you compromise your position or negotiation power in order to keep things moving?  At the end of the day, do you get what you desired?  Is it what you want in the end?  Can you feel the potential of this concept if you were to apply it to your daily life and work?